LET ME GET MY CAPE

our tale about everyday adventures and discovering the world

Carpoolin’

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As I looked in my rear view mirror at the three kindergarteners sitting across my backseat, I couldn’t help but smile. These usually crazy, sometimes smelly but always amusing boys were an endless source of entertainment this past year.

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Carpooler 2: I’m going to get some metal and cut it to make a sword.

Carpooler 3: You shouldn’t do that. You’ll get arrested.

Carpooler 1: Ya, double arrested.

Carpooler 3: Or triple arrested.

Carpooler 1: And they don’t feed you in jail.

Carpooler 3: Yes they do!

Carpooler 2: I could just ask the police officer what’s for breakfast. “Hey, police officer, what’s for breakfast?” “Pancakes? Oh, that’s great!”

Carpooler 1: They don’t have pancakes in jail.

Carpooler 2: Yeah, they don’t have dessert either.

******

Carpooler 2: Do you know what I did in Minecraft?

******

Carpooler 1: I just farted.

*****

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Clean jokes lead to butt jokes 100% of the time:

Q: What’s the last thing you take off before you go to bed?

A: You’re feet off the floor!

Q: What happens when you put ice in someone’s butt?

A: You get a cold butt.

(Uproarious laughter.)

*******

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Carpooler 3: Do you know what I did in Minecraft?

******

Carpooler 1: I just farted.

******

One whole car ride consisted of air guitar sounds and farting noises. (But no actual farting.)

*****

Carpooler 1:  (Whispering) I can see Wonder Womans boobies.

Carpooler 2: (Yelling) What? I can’t hear you!

Carpooler 1: (Yelling) I can see Wonder Woman’s boobies!

Carpooler 3: (Examining the book closely.) No you can’t.

Carpooler 1: Yes, you can. Look!

Carpooler 2: Hey guys, do you know what I did in Minecraft?

*****

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Carpooler 2: I’m going to look for treasure in my backyard today after I get home from school. Do you know how old this land is?

Carpooler 1: You’re going to dig for gold in your backyard?

Carpooler 2: Not that old.

******

My grandpa got hit by a thunderbolt and lived.

******

Carpooler 3: Do I have to go to college?

Me: Depends on what you want to be when you grow up. What do you want to be?

Carpooler 1: I want to be cop when I grow up so I can drive really fast.

*****

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Carpooler 1: I’m tired.

Me: I’m tired, too! I’m going to go to bed early tonight. I’ve been staying up way too late.

Carpooler 1: When I’m a grown up I’m going to stay up late and watch inappropriate stuff on tv. And eat lots of candy. (Pause) I’ll be able to eat lots of candy because I have more space.

Carpooler 3: Candy isn’t healthy for your body.

Carpooler 1: Ok, I’m going to eat lots of vegetables because I want to be healthy.  Just vegetables. (Pause.) Ok, candy just once a day.

*****

And then one glorious day, one of the carpoolers suggested that they see how long they could be silent together.

Total blissful silence from 8:50-8:53am. (Yes, I clocked it.)

Until somebody farted.

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